The harbingers it's time that you settled down - tompkins square

Douglas Holtz-Eakin, president of the American Action Forum and former director of the Congressional Budget Office

Bridge the gap between Earth and the Nightmare Realm and then bring about "Weirdmageddon" (succeeded).
Destroy the Journals to render Dipper Pines completely powerless (succeeded).
Find out how to leave Gravity Falls and expand Weirdmageddon over the entire multiverse (failed).
Rule all of reality and existence (failed).
Create a "fun" world without rules or restriction (failed).
Kill the Pines family and anyone else who dares to oppose him (failed).
Destroy Gravity Falls (failed).

Jesse Lichtenstein has written for The New Yorker, Slate, The Economist and n + 1; this is his first article for the magazine.

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